Still Undefeated

ra⋅tion⋅ale
-noun

1. the fundamental reason or reasons serving to account for something.
2. a statement of reasons.
3. a reasoned exposition of principles.

Synonyms:

1. logic, basis, grounds.

My brother once told me that I’m too logical, that I think with my head too much. Funny, because it’s true: that I think with my head too often and rarely ever with my heart. Funny too, because who would think that there’s such a thing as being too logical?

I always thought that people were too naïve, that they weren’t logical enough. I always thought that those who weren’t very logical were dumb in a way and the lines they fell for and the lies they fell for baffled me to no end. Yet in a way, I envied them. I envied the fact that they could let their heart take over and throw all logic aside: that they didn’t rationalize situations and weigh the pros and cons of every opportunity that presented itself; that even when they did, they often threw the logical choice out of the window and instead followed their heart. I envied them then and I envy them still.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately: about this and that and him and her and them –in a nutshell, about everything. I try to shut off my mind, but I just can’t seem to. Even in my sleep I find myself dreaming about this and that and him and her and them and each time, the rational outcome prevails. At first thought, the topic or subject is ruled by my heart, but it never fails –eventually, my more logical self takes over and the outcome is one built on a logical thought process. It never fails, but for once, I’d like that to not be the case.

Even when I try to let my heart overtake my mind and when I think that at last it has succeeded, in creeps my old friend, Rationale, to stomp on my heart so that no one else can. But hey, I guess I might as well do it to myself instead of letting someone else do it, right?