Twin Envy

My twin and I figured you should know why each birthday is so special to us (among the obvious reasons of being alive and whatnot), so we figured we'd fill you in.

26 years ago ...

Randall: As you know, I'm older than Alicia ...

Alicia: By one minute.

Randall: I'm telling the story!

Alicia: Fine, carry on ...

Randall: Thanks. As you know, I'm one minute older than Alicia. Now, one minute doesn't seem like such a big deal, but in reference to July 13, 1984 and the story of our birth, it is.

On a fine Friday (yes, we were born on Friday, the 13th) morning in the middle of July, during the summer Olympics, our mom went into labor with yours truly. At the time she went into labor, me and Alicia were fighting for the best spot to get out first; unfortunately, her being the bigger twin at the time, she won that battle.

Alicia: Hahaha, you were so frail!

Randall: Shut up and let me finish!

Alicia: Fine!

Randall: So like I was saying, she won that battle. But ha! Little did she know that we weren't coming out the "normal" way! So, when the doctor made that incision, I threw an elbow at her head and gained the number 1 spot! When I came out, I didn't see her flailing around anymore and, not wanting her demise on my conscience, I dove back in, grabbed her chunky foot, and dragged her out! In one minute flat! One minute!

Alicia: *shrug* He did.

Randall: So yeah, I saved Alicia's life. And that's why I'm one minute older.

Alicia: I wouldn't have needed saving if you hadn't thrown the cheap shot at my head!

Randall: Whatever. It's not my fault you wanted to try to punk me for that other position. Ha! Joke was on you!

Alicia: Whatever.

Randall: Anyway, that's the story of our birth. The TRUE story of our birth.

Alicia: Yup, true story.