Sunday, September 12, 2010


My “give a damn” busted. I can’t pinpoint the exact day it happened or what served as the straw that finally broke the camel’s back. I do know however, that it happened almost five months ago and that it was not just one thing or person that caused it. Rather, it was a series of events and various people (again, I’m not sure exactly who or what event it was) that led to my “give a damn” being busted beyond repair.

One thing I’ve always hated about myself is that when I’m “done” with something or someone, I’m “done”. Granted I never get to that point based on one or a few circumstances; it’s always due to a string of actions usually over quite a lengthy period of time. Still though, I hate the fact that I can and do get to this point at all. I sometimes wish that I could just look the other way time after time or hear the same bit of nonsense time after time or listen to the same complaint time after time or deal with childish pettiness time after time and not grow beyond tired of one’s maturity depreciation or complete lack of personal evolution.

My “give a damn” busted where many things and people are concerned. I just can’t do it anymore. I just can’t. It’s far too draining on me. I don’t give a damn about:
  • Hearing you complain about your job every time I hear from you when you’re doing absolutely nothing to change it.
  • Hurting your feelings; get over it.
  • Listening to you talk about your sexcapades as though I’m supposed to think of you as anything but trashy; am I supposed to still respect you?
  • Whether or not you think I’m being too “harsh” regarding certain people or situations.
  • How badly you need a man or woman for you to be “happy”; how about finding “you” first?
  • What you think about me.
  • Hearing about or bearing witness to the desperation of so many to be in romantic relationships –as unhappy as they might be –for the sake of being in a relationship.
  • What you think I should be doing with myself.
  • Providing my opinion (especially on the occasion that you ask for it) on all matters concerning you; time and again it’s only proven to be a waste of my breath.
  • Things you complain about and could control, but choose not to.
  • Hearing about, talking about, or doing the exact same stuff I was years ago.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not heartless. No, not entirely anyway. I still care about what’s going on with people and how they’re doing as long as what’s going on with them doesn’t solely consist of the same nonsense they’ve mentioned countless times before over many years. I do still enjoy holding conversations with people about various topics as long as the conversation hasn’t taken place countless times before over many years. I’m not saying that people don’t discuss the same stuff time after time, year after year; I do realize that there are things or people that are constants in a person’s life and those things or people will be discussed routinely. No, my "give a damn" has merely busted for those things listed above (and some others I’m sure, that I can’t seem to think of right now) that could be changed or helped or fixed, but aren’t and never will be.