Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Oh how I would love to smack a post-it on the foreheads of many.

Imagine reaching your hand into your pocket, any pocket, and magically pulling out a post-it with ‘ BULLSHIT!’ written on it. Now, imagine taking that post-it and smacking it across someone’s forehead. Not their cheek or their mouth or anywhere else, their forehead. Plain and simple. Are you with me? Can you see it? Can you see yourself smacking the hell out of someone and instead of simply leaving a hand-print you leave a mark of ‘BULLSHIT!’ across their head. I can see it.

As a matter of fact, I can see it clearly on a number of different heads. I see it in the written works of many. I hear it in those who speak of grandiose plans of this or that. I know it to be present in those who are still ‘up to’ the same bit of nothing they were up to in our high school years; those who are still talking about doing what they were talking about doing way back when. I smell it in those who seem to never run out of excuses. I sense it permeating through the words of countless others. To those who write it, I say to you: ‘ BULLSHIT!’ To those who speak it, I say to you: 'BULLSHIT!’ To those who will eternally be talkin’ the talk, I say to you: ‘BULLSHIT!’ To those who make excuse after excuse, I say to you: ‘BULLSHIT!

For those instances (which I’m sure will be rather frequent) in which the nonsense you read, hear, know, or sense is full of too much shit for a simple smack to cover, by all means, knock ‘em down. Smack the hell out of that person so hard with that post-it that they literally fall down. Believe me, they deserve it.

Not a day goes by in which I don’t want to smack the bullshit out of someone, but I do realize that I too, would be smacked on occasion. Granted those days would be few and far between, but nonetheless, I’d be walking around with a post-it on my forehead. That being said, while I realize that I may say some things that are full of it from time to time, most people would not realize their need to be smacked and therein lies the problem with my post-its. It seems that the people who are full of the most shit are the ones who don’t at all realize it. They’re able to decipher it in any and everyone else, but never in themselves and that’s a problem. I could see it now: people would be running amuck smacking folks and then getting upset when they themselves are smacked to the ground. Chaos would ensue. Then again, if those needing a ‘BULLSHIT!’ realized that they were full of it, I wouldn’t need to smack them in the first place. Hmm, catch 22, I guess.

But oh how I would love to smack a post-it on the foreheads of many.

No comments:

Post a Comment